Negative self-talk can be damaging to your self-esteem & hold you back from living your best life.
Does it feel as though you have a little devil sitting on your shoulder, telling you-you’re not quite good enough? And does he pick apart everything you think, say and do? Even more annoying is the things he tells you like you’re stupid or clumsy or unloveable.
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I’d like to try and help you unravel this little bug-a-boo. Sometimes he has a pretty good grip though, so it’s probably not as simple as just knocking him off your shoulder. Unfortunately, his grip goes all the way down into your sub-conscience where he dances around all willy-nilly, stirring the pot of your insecurities.
Seriously though, as tempting as it is to say, “The devil made me do it”, or think it, or say it in this instance, we need to take a look at where all this is coming from. While we’d all like to blame this goblin for our negative self-talk the truth is we’re simply regurgitating a lot of unfortunate programs placed in our subconscious minds. He’s just the voice we hear after all.
And more importantly, what can we do about it?
Let’s face it, it would be so nice to make the yucky self-talk go away, replacing it with better feeling thoughts, right?
So that’s what we’re going to work on. And yes, it will take some work, mostly in the form of self-awareness. You didn’t really think I was going to tell you it would be easy, did you? But hey, you’re up for it, right? Heck, you’ve been dealing with all the negative self-talk all along, so seriously, you’ve got this!
It’s not good enough for someone else to tell you-you’re ok…..this is an inside job.
Remember when you were very small, dancing around, playing with your friends and pretending you were a star? Perhaps you don’t remember that exact scenario but you probably have a memory that evokes the feelings I’m referring to. For me, the picnic table was my stage and I performed for my friends with utter abandon. Maybe for you, the visions of racing in the Indy 500 resonates.
Whatever it was for you I’m betting you had a time in your life when you weren’t burdened by limiting beliefs. And there were big dreams on your horizon.
Recently I came across a very interesting YouTube video of Bruce Lipton, who is a cell biologist. He wrote a compelling book called “The Biology of Belief”, in which he explains how our beliefs have a major impact on our cellular function. In the video, he talked about how our subconscious minds dictate about 99% of what goes on in our lives. And that our subconscious minds are programmed very early in life before we are 6 years old.
So even though we think we’re running the show we simply aren’t, at least not most of the time.
The programming we receive as very small children is at the core of who we become and the beliefs we hold are sometimes lies told to us, however innocently and well-intended by the very people who shaped us. Blaming parents for screwing us up is pointless though. For one, because they’re just regurgitating their own programming and for two, they’re just living in their own subconscious minds.
This can be discouraging when we find ourselves in the middle of beating ourselves up for whatever we imagined we did wrong or telling ourselves we’re undeserving of being treated better or obtaining what we desire.
But there are ways to reprogram our subconscious minds…..to feel better…..to let go of past trauma…..and to stop the endless brutality we inflict on ourselves with our self-deprecating thoughts.
To banish your inner critic you can look at some things you can do on your own or you can seek out practitioners who specialize in reprogramming some of the negative self-talk, replacing it with better feeling thoughts.
Working on Negative Self-Talk On Your Own
Be Present
First and foremost practice being in the present moment. For most of us, we’re either thinking in the past or in the future, but rarely about what’s happening at this very moment. I’ve heard it said that living in the past is depression and living in the future is anxiety. Who needs that?? It’s not always easy to be present but it can certainly be a game-changer for greater happiness and fulfillment.
Positive Affirmations to Turn Down Negative Self-Talk
I’m all about positive affirmations and won’t be tossing them aside any time soon. That being said, you simply can’t positive affirmation yourself out of really deep-rooted issues. When you say affirmations it can sometimes feel silly, like you’re just telling lies to yourself. But even still, they’re beneficial. They do make us feel better, and good practice would be dropping into a good meditation either right before or even during your affirmation phase.
Meditation
When you were very small, up to age two, you were in a Beta state of consciousness. This is the stage where you are gathering information and not really doing much else. From ages two to six you hung out in Theta state, which is where imagination thrives. This is the time when you mix make-believe with reality, explaining why it’s so delightful to watch little children in this age group as they play.
These are the states you want to get to in order to reprogram your subconscious mind. Perhaps seek out a good binaural beats meditation track that can help you get to the Theta or Beta state.
Seek Help With These Inner Critic Busters
Hypnotherapy can help reduce negative self-talk
Hypnotherapy is guided hypnosis, inducing a trance-like state for deeper concentration and focus. A trained hypnotherapist can help you drop in and get to the root of problems by turning completely inward, addressing and making changes in certain areas of your life.
Hypnotherapy can be used for many applications such as improvingĀ sleep, learning disorders, communication, and relationship issues. Additionally, it can be used to treat anxiety, phobias, substance abuse, sexual dysfunction, bad habits, and undesirable spontaneous behaviors. Most importantly, a good hypnotherapist will help you unravel your self-deprecating thoughts, replacing them with self-acceptance and a gentler more loving attitude towards yourself.
What is EMDR therapy? Can it help with negative self-talk?
According to endria.org, Ā “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is an integrative psychotherapy approach that has been extensively researched and proven effective for the treatment of trauma. EMDR therapy includes a set of standardized protocols that incorporate elements from many different treatment approaches.”
‘Therapist-directed lateral eye movements are the most commonly used external stimulus but a variety of other stimuli including hand-tapping and audio stimulation are often used (Shapiro, 1991).’ The idea is to access the memory-enhancing information processing forging new memory associations. Originally used only for trauma, it is now being used for complete information processing, elimination of emotional distress, new learning and development of cognitive insights.
EMDR can be effective at reducing negative self-talk by reprogramingĀ those negative ideas that live in your subconscious.
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
Tapping, most commonly known as EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques, is a type of energy psychology that combines modern psychology and eastern medicine. It can be very effective with both physical pain (back pain, headaches, etc) and emotional issues, including negative self-talk.
A trained practitioner can lead you through the practice while you’re tapping meridian points on your body with your fingertips.
I’m a big fan of The Tapping Solution for the wonderful content they create and the ways they have helped bring this practice into mainstream consciousness. If you haven’t heard of tapping and would like to learn a bit about it here are some links to free eBooks, free webinars & free masterclasses you can check out.
- Free E-Book – 103 DIsempowering Beliefs About Money
- Or you can sign up for a free Masterclass here
- Free E-Book – Weight Loss
- Free Weight Loss Webinar Registration
This practice can be done on your own as well by following along with the videos you can find online.
Holographic Repatterning
According to New Physics, we are all masses of energy frequencies vibrating at many levels. The research is showing that what we’re in tune with or resonate with is what we experience. This goes along with The Law of Attraction mindset. Science is now validating this through research in Quantum Psychics.
According to rpamembers.org:
“The Resonance Repatterning process first works by bringing the subconscious patterns into consciousness so they can be addressed. This is the first step in helping to clear these patterns and eliminate the interference so that you can easily and naturally move towards a state of greater balance, aliveness, harmony, and alignment with your goals. A holographic “map” of the patterns needing to be cleared is created, using input from the client and muscle checking or kinesiology. Then the relevant healing modality is identified that is needed to bring coherence to the energy system.”
These and other programs can help get that negative little goblin to simmer down and allow you to be happier and more loving of your awesome self!
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- Benefits of Prayer & Meditation
Have you tried any of these modalities? I’d love to hear about your experience if you have.
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